Friday, July 13, 2007
Some of my memories of Paul...
The first time I met Paul, we had gone to Leigh/Terrills to eat dinner with them..Paul had already been diagnosed and gone thru about a year of treatments by then. He was going thru a lot of stranger anxiety, so he was mostly to himself not wanting to meet anymore strangers ...I decided to get up from the table, go into the living room and see if he would let me hold him and watch his train video with him...he won me over at that moment, we snuggled the whole movie as his mommy and daddy and Mike got to watch us!
Then a few weeks later, I asked him to go along to the zoo with my grand-daughter, Madalyn and myself...I can remember passing by Baylor, Paul saying to us, "That is where my dad works, Hey Dad"...then at the zoo, we were watching the giraffes and a strange smell came from around the corner as we were walking...Paul says, "that smells like Whitts diaper"
From that moment on, Paul was smitten with his Madalyn...they drew each other pictures, visited and had some fun play dates together. I watched Paul and Whit every Tuesday so Leigh could do her errands and just have a little alone time...Paul would come into the living room, see his reflection on the glass of the fireplace doors--"Miss Debbie, Miss Debbie, I can see Paul in your fireplace!" The I would reply, "Paul, you better get out of my fireplace, your mommy would be very upset if she knew you were in our fireplace!" Then his precious giggle....
Mike and I watched the boys one afternoon for Leigh and Terrill so they could have some much needed time alone to eat and do some shopping...Paul had just finished a round of chemo and felt so bad---I remember him just laying his head down on the picnic table as Jack jumped on the trampoline...finally after a little while, Paul got himself up and played just as hard as his brother...
Paul went into Cooks for some surgery, Mike and I came to help out with Whit, since he had just had some heart surgery, I can remember late that night after they had finally got him back to his room, his mommy laying on the bed with him comforting him, that sweet moment will always be with me.
Then the headaches came back, I tried to comfort him when he would stay with me till Leigh or Terrill could get there to pick him up... but there is no comfort like the touch of mommy and daddys hand....
When Madalyns little sister Loraly came along, one of Pauls very favorite things to do when he was there with Loraly was rub her head, it was soft and bald....now, that is one of my favorite things to do when I go visit with Paul, rub that soft/bald head.
Paul came to play one day and told me that he really wanted Bushes Chicken for lunch--so off we went, after all Miss Debbie can't say no....while driving thru, he had one of his terrible nose-bleeds..I pulled over, tried to stop it, called Leigh, thank goodness she was up the street eating with Whit---I drove like a maniac on Hewitt Dr to get him there--traded off with Leigh and took Whit home... I never realized the amount of blood you could loose and how calm and collected Paul was with it till Leigh got it stopped...another time, he stumped his toe, was crying and I was trying to comfort him, all I could see was what looked like the end of his toe--I thought he had apparently stumped part of it off...it finally stopped bleeding, Leigh got there to take a look at it and she started laughing----he had a wart on the end of his toe and they had been working on getting it off and that is what he stumped...they just forgot to tell Miss Debbie about it!
Putt-Putt, on a day when he felt so bad but would not let us carry him....he was determined to play and play hard....I think mostly he wanted to impress Madalyn.
The bike rides in front of my house and always stopping for water and a "Hey Miss Debbie".
We all had such fun at Pauls big birthday parties at Chuck E.Cheese and Peter Piper and bowling...lots of smiles, friends, pizza and presents for all! I especially enjoyed making him a "Jeff Gordon" and a "Tony Stewart"cakes, although I don't think Terrill had any of the "Tony Stewart" cake . Now, how many kids get 2 birthday cakes in one year?
And all our drives to Lake Belton to see the Christmas Lights---the joy in the kiddos eyes as we drove thru.... and the laughter after the year Madalyn had announced "the reindeer just pooped presents out"
A few years ago Mike and I took Paul and Madalyn, actually it was Madalyns idea for Pauls birthday to see the Monster Trucks...we ate dinner at a littel steakhouse nearby and they were both so excited! At the coliseum, we let both of them got mini Monster Trucks, and banners and all the drivers signed the banners....then the highlight of the night was when Paul, Madalyn and Miss Debbie got to ride in the back of a Monster Truck!
Last year, Mike and I decided to take Paul birthday shopping and let him pick out anything he wanted...lots of shirts,Imaginexes, and Nascar items, I think Mike had more fun than anyone! Our next door neighbor Dan, is a Professional Magician and he came to Pauls party and did some neat magic tricks....I think everyone had a good day at Pauls special birthday party.
I bought Madalyn and Paul lunch one day at school and ate lunch with them, as usual, they wanted Bushes chicken---when Paul came walking down the hall, he had his lunch bag, I said Paul did you forget that I was gonna bring lunch today--he said no, his mommy had packed him some broccoli..he opened up his bag and ate of his broccoli before he ate any of his Bushes chicken...
Then the big Kindegarten Graduation---Paul was so sick, but he managed to make it to his big graduation and even walk across the stage to accept his diploma....I don't think there was a dry eye in the whole school...
The last few months have gone by so fast and I have not spent a lot of time with Paul although Mike and I did go to Cooks one Saturday and make a visit--we took Paul a "Star War" leggo set, he was determined to finish it before we left.... took some time after we left but it got finished, ok, maybe Terrill helped a little....
About 3 weeks ago, we had dinner with Leigh/Terrill and Leighs parents, Terrill always sits on the middle of the couch next to where Paul lays---Terrill got up so I made my move to sit by Paul, he had just gotten home from getting his G-button and was still sore. Paul says, "Hey, that is where my dad sits" So, I asked him if I could rent that space and would give him my $3 I had in my car, so, he let me sit there by him, and I rubbed his little feet for about 30 minutes.I had asked him earlier if I could see his G button, he did not want to show me...so after I had sat there for a few minutes, he asked me if I wanted to see it---first time Paul had looked at it, he was not very happy with it but was a good sport about it.
So, now Paul is very sick, there are no more treatments left to help him live a good guality life, he has been in a lot of pain but thankfully that is being managed now, and we are all getting ready to say our goodbyes to this precious little boyfriend of mine. Sorry, Madalyn just this one time you have to share Paul with me.
I pray for no pain, lots of special moments to be remembered by a lot of friends and for your parents and brothers to know how much they are loved by lots of friends and to know just how special Paul is to his family, grandparents, cousins and all those friends...
I have a picture Leigh gave me for my birthday a few years ago, Paul was running thru a field, just being a happy, carefree child, that is so precious to me... Leigh could of never given me a better gift! I will treasure it forever just as all the sweet memories I have of my Paulie.
I wrote this about Paul on Friday night, it was storming here and he was on my heart heavily.
I had actually drove by several times this week just to go in and see Paul and rub his sweet head and maybe just maybe get a grin out of him, but I know that his mommy and daddy needed all the time with him that he had left...but this morning we got the call from Lynn, Paul had passed in the wee hours of the morning with his mommy and daddy at his side...
No more chemo, or pain,or getting poked, just sweet Paul in heaven now---
I love you my little buddy...
P.S. I will never tell anyone our "little secret" about when you and Madalyn were here at Miss Debbies house, we had just bought the house and Paul was over playing with Madalyn--anyways, the 2 little "stinkers" that they could be together some times, went into the play room, were coloring pictures and they got very quiet---so, I went to check them and they had drawn all over my carpet in that room.....so, I quickly called the carpet cleaning man and he came out and got it all out of my carpet----boy, those two really thought they were gonna be in some hot water but I let them off with stern warnings and never let them color on the carpet again.... I think the secret is out now Paul, but I forgave you long ago, so don't worry, you are not in trouble. Madalyn either...
